Social Distancing??

Friday the 13th COVID update. Ironic, right?!

We are amidst a crisis the likes of which we have never experienced. I want to acknowledge the grieving loved ones of the people who have died. Even though the percentages are low, this virus kills. Below are some of the unprecedented changes made in the past few days to stem the spread of the virus:

Entire school systems are closed - some indefinitely 

A large percentage of workers are working from home

Officials are considering shutting down entire public transportation systems 

Several professional sports leagues are cancelled or suspended

Concerts around the world are being cancelled

Air travel is being reduced by Delta by 40%

Grocery store shelves are depleted

Broadway is dark

I could go on, but I won’t because the purpose of this blog is NOT to make you MORE anxious. What I want to do is twofold; highlight unintended human consequences of the crisis recommendations, and point out some good that may come out of this awful situation.

Just today, our town officials broadcast, “Social gatherings, large and small are discouraged until the virus has run its course.” In times of crisis, what we normally do is band together. Our health districts are understandably telling us to do just the opposite. One unintended consequence of new “social distancing” practices is that people are increasingly anxious, scared, and lonely. People naturally want to be and feel connected and when that's taken away people suffer.

Can anything GOOD can come out of this? Here are some positive possibilities.

It’s possible that some relationships can be well maintained and grown during this crisis. How? Technology! While many of us over-use technology at times, using it well now can help bridge the human to human connection gap. My suggestion is that you FaceTime, text, call, email, etc., your besties while you’re feeling unsure or isolated. Don't wait to reach out until you feel better. Odds are your friends and family are struggling too. Connect!

Another positive possibility is the opposite of using technology. As we spend more time together at home, we can 'turn back time' a little and do more 'old fashioned-ish' activities. We can put our phones down and play with our kids. We can read more. We can cook more homemade meals. We can dance and exercise at home with our families.

These are some ideas to make the best of a bad situation. I'm sure you can think of even more and better ideas! Use your imaginations and we'll get through this together.

HOW MUCH ENERGY?

Desiderata blog 2

“As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.”

How much energy does it take to be on good terms with all persons? At first glance, it may seem like way too much. But let’s break it down. 'Good terms' doesn’t mean you’re best friends with everybody. The quote means to me that it’s a good idea to do our best to get along with others as long as we don’t compromise too much or surrender our SELF in the meantime. Sounds reasonable. 

Sometimes, however, in order to be on “good terms” with someone, it’s necessary to let go of a lot of things that anger and annoy you...and just breathe. That gives us a moment to pause until we can change the scenery and protect ourselves. Sometimes what we come up with is “I’ve got to go," or “I have something I need to do." It works. No need for drama. Terms are still good but we haven’t given up too much. Oh, and let's not forget that we have no CONTROL over how the other person reacts or responds. So, accordingly, let's not spend too much time trying to.

Other times we can open our hearts completely and surrender (a different kind of surrender!) all our defenses because that special someone is just so safe. That kind of safety cannot be with 'all persons.' We are lucky if we find one or a few precious people in a lifetime with whom we can completely be ourselves. Embrace those ones!

Most relationships with people fall somewhere in-between unsafe and (good) surrender-worthy. Around them, we generally feel ok and it doesn’t take much energy to be on good terms. Phew!

If the quote above is not in your daily practice, how much of your energy are you spending NOT being on good terms with others?