Social Distancing??

Friday the 13th COVID update. Ironic, right?!

We are amidst a crisis the likes of which we have never experienced. I want to acknowledge the grieving loved ones of the people who have died. Even though the percentages are low, this virus kills. Below are some of the unprecedented changes made in the past few days to stem the spread of the virus:

Entire school systems are closed - some indefinitely 

A large percentage of workers are working from home

Officials are considering shutting down entire public transportation systems 

Several professional sports leagues are cancelled or suspended

Concerts around the world are being cancelled

Air travel is being reduced by Delta by 40%

Grocery store shelves are depleted

Broadway is dark

I could go on, but I won’t because the purpose of this blog is NOT to make you MORE anxious. What I want to do is twofold; highlight unintended human consequences of the crisis recommendations, and point out some good that may come out of this awful situation.

Just today, our town officials broadcast, “Social gatherings, large and small are discouraged until the virus has run its course.” In times of crisis, what we normally do is band together. Our health districts are understandably telling us to do just the opposite. One unintended consequence of new “social distancing” practices is that people are increasingly anxious, scared, and lonely. People naturally want to be and feel connected and when that's taken away people suffer.

Can anything GOOD can come out of this? Here are some positive possibilities.

It’s possible that some relationships can be well maintained and grown during this crisis. How? Technology! While many of us over-use technology at times, using it well now can help bridge the human to human connection gap. My suggestion is that you FaceTime, text, call, email, etc., your besties while you’re feeling unsure or isolated. Don't wait to reach out until you feel better. Odds are your friends and family are struggling too. Connect!

Another positive possibility is the opposite of using technology. As we spend more time together at home, we can 'turn back time' a little and do more 'old fashioned-ish' activities. We can put our phones down and play with our kids. We can read more. We can cook more homemade meals. We can dance and exercise at home with our families.

These are some ideas to make the best of a bad situation. I'm sure you can think of even more and better ideas! Use your imaginations and we'll get through this together.

What's your summer style?

What’s your summer style? You may look forward to summer as a time to take early morning walks, read in the shade, or try a new sport. Or is it your style to clean out closets and catch up on friendships and family visits? Maybe your work amps up in the summer and managing your time and the kids’ activities is a messy challenge. If you have kids maybe they go away to camp and you have more time on your hands than you bargained for and find yourself wondering what to do with all of it. There’s no one size fits all experience and certainly no right way to approach things as the cadence of your daily life shifts.

I’ve found that both ends of the too-little or too-much time spectrum can be stressful. When there’s too much to do and down time is a distant memory, tempers can flare and relationships can suffer. The summer can come and go and instead of collecting joyous memories and seashells you may be collecting apologies and regrets. On the other end, not knowing what to do with yourself can lead you into negative thoughts about yourself and your choices, and those voices can be hard to quiet. When you’re feeling these frustrations it’s easy to snap at those closest to you.

What are some choices you have at your disposal? How can you make sense of your personal summer challenges? Regardless of your specific circumstances you can choose to do something different. That ‘something’ can be as seemingly little as a ten minute walk outside your office at a most stressful time instead of powering through the task at hand. Maybe your walking and breathing will help you think differently and problem solve better. Clarity. If your thoughts are swirling about and talking with confidants isn’t enough anymore, maybe it’s time to call a therapist to help you through. Our job is to help you see things differently and guide you to solutions that are likely just below the surface.

So whether you’re elbow deep in soil, knee deep in the Long Island Sound, or your inbox is overflowing this summer, consider giving me a call to re-imagine and re-work the parts of your life that aren’t working. My office hours are work and family friendly. (originally posted 6/5/13)