Social Distancing??

Friday the 13th COVID update. Ironic, right?!

We are amidst a crisis the likes of which we have never experienced. I want to acknowledge the grieving loved ones of the people who have died. Even though the percentages are low, this virus kills. Below are some of the unprecedented changes made in the past few days to stem the spread of the virus:

Entire school systems are closed - some indefinitely 

A large percentage of workers are working from home

Officials are considering shutting down entire public transportation systems 

Several professional sports leagues are cancelled or suspended

Concerts around the world are being cancelled

Air travel is being reduced by Delta by 40%

Grocery store shelves are depleted

Broadway is dark

I could go on, but I won’t because the purpose of this blog is NOT to make you MORE anxious. What I want to do is twofold; highlight unintended human consequences of the crisis recommendations, and point out some good that may come out of this awful situation.

Just today, our town officials broadcast, “Social gatherings, large and small are discouraged until the virus has run its course.” In times of crisis, what we normally do is band together. Our health districts are understandably telling us to do just the opposite. One unintended consequence of new “social distancing” practices is that people are increasingly anxious, scared, and lonely. People naturally want to be and feel connected and when that's taken away people suffer.

Can anything GOOD can come out of this? Here are some positive possibilities.

It’s possible that some relationships can be well maintained and grown during this crisis. How? Technology! While many of us over-use technology at times, using it well now can help bridge the human to human connection gap. My suggestion is that you FaceTime, text, call, email, etc., your besties while you’re feeling unsure or isolated. Don't wait to reach out until you feel better. Odds are your friends and family are struggling too. Connect!

Another positive possibility is the opposite of using technology. As we spend more time together at home, we can 'turn back time' a little and do more 'old fashioned-ish' activities. We can put our phones down and play with our kids. We can read more. We can cook more homemade meals. We can dance and exercise at home with our families.

These are some ideas to make the best of a bad situation. I'm sure you can think of even more and better ideas! Use your imaginations and we'll get through this together.

How do you feel about change?

I used to believe that people fell into one of two camps regarding how they respond to change. I saw it as binary.; either you welcome change with open arms and see the optimistic possibilities, or break out into hives with the first thought of something changing. Now, as I mature beyond mid-middle age (is that a thing?) my opinion is softening. With age comes wisdom, and a few other things...

I see my self as a flexible person, responding to change like Gumby. "It's no big deal, I can figure it out!". And that's truly who I am. BUT. I'm learning that how I respond to change is largely correlated to what kind of change it is and in what stage of life. From 1984 to 1994 my husband and I moved our entires lives ten times. Our children respectively lived in seven and three homes before they entered kindergarten. It was great! Careers were blossoming and the excitement of living somewhere new was thrilling. Now, if you asked me if I was willing to move, I would simply say, "no!" Does that mean I went from being flexible to inflexible over time. I don't think so. 

How we respond (or initially react!) to change is situational. If you want to change jobs, that's something you initiate for a reason and, while it may be stressful, it's largely under your control. If you lose your job, that's an entirely different set of circumstances to which you may respond with anxiety and fear.

How do you feel when faced with the desire for change in your relationships? Or, conversely, what's it like for you when you're faced with a break up, or when your partner comes to you with a complaint or a request for something new? How differently will you react or respond to those different situations? Taking the time and space to explore your 'dance with change' can help you know yourself better and be more adaptive and resilient at work and at home. It will also help you know when to simply say, "no!"