COVID musing #3

I have dedicated my life and career to understanding relationships and walking the talk. With that being said, I still ‘got into it’ with my husband Sunday morning. It was only day 10-ish of stay-at-home and it was happening already? Discouraging.

What was it about? Basically, he asked if I had cleaned the container from the store and I answered, “yes.” He asked, “really?” Why did that bug me and why did I, truth be told, snap at him? Who really cares, right? What happened next is what is important to me. I apologized and he responded with grace and it was over. Really.
 

I tell you this little slice-of-life vignette because I don’t think we’re alone in being more on edge than normal right now. Relationships are being affected by all of these unknowns.

People who normally aren’t living together ARE for now. High school and college kids are likely missing their celebrations and graduations. Parents who work inside and (formerly) outside the home are charged with homeschooling. Don’t even get me started about the economy! There’s more togetherness and a lot more dishes.
 

If you find yourself, like me, getting agitated more easily, what are you doing when it happens?  Are you asking for what you need and if so, what DO you need? In marriages, one usually needs more space while the other needs more connection. How do you negotiate those differences?

Purpose...Connection...Courage...Spinning...#woundedwarriors

In theory, we all exercise. I've known for what seems like forever that exercise is good for body and soul. But I haven't been consistent, consistently.

Nothing earth shattering happened on August 10th to spur me to start exercising again. I just started. And I've continued. It's only been a month, but it's been a wonderful month. My persistent shoulder pain has eased. My clothes feel better, and I feel more comfortable in my skin. But that's not what inspired me to write today.

What inspired, I mean, who inspired me to write today is a woman named Rhodie. Rhodie is a co-founder and lead instructor at JoyRide in Westport, CT. I don't know a lot about Rhodie, but I learned pretty much all I need to know about her this morning during her spin class.

I wasn't feeling particularly great. I had some things on my mind and I hadn't slept well. Before class, to clear my mind I took a walk at Compo Beach. My hope was that the beautiful morning views would help me breathe and feel better. It was wonderful but my mood remained, well. " eh."

Enter Rhodie. I thought to myself, "OK, so she's obviously a pro. She has this whole spin thing DOWN." I figured she'd inspire me to work hard and sweat, and she did. What else she offered the 45 or so other souls in the room, however, is clearly her extra gift. Seamlessly and seemingly effortlessly, Rhodie ran the class like a gentle Sargent while weaving in her thoughts about three things she learned last weekend from her time spent with Wounded Warriors. Quite simply, her three keys to Joy are purpose...connection...and courage. 

Rhodie combined ideas about working hard and hitting our individual edges while reminding us that we all need a purpose; a reason to work or play...or do a tour of duty. Without purpose we wander. 

Connections are necessary for us to survive. Love, returned smiles, people who have our back at home and on the battlefield; they all make life meaningful. Exercising in that room filled with other people this morning made me feel connected to a purpose larger than myself. It helped me put my life into a more global perspective.

Courage. Anyone willing to put him or herself in harm's way for the benefit of people they will never meet has exceptional courage. To those who serve, I thank you and honor that your courage wins over the fear that must creep in. Courage in everyday interactions may be 'just showing up' to spin today, or it may mean fiercely building on a foundation of fitness they've been working on for years. Courage doesn't exist in the absence of fear. It exists alongside it.

Thank you Rhodie for inspiring me to work hard and take care of myself today, as well as reminding me that the world is big, few sacrifice for many, and that purpose, connection, and courage are necessary ingredients to a truly meaningful, Joyful life. And thank you to the other sweaty bodies and souls I connected with today. I hope you know how much you matter.