When one of you wants to work on the marriage — and one isn't sure.
Discernment Counseling isn't couples therapy. It's a structured process designed for exactly this situation: a mixed-agenda couple at the edge of a major decision.
What makes this different
Regular couples therapy assumes both partners want to work on the relationship. Discernment Counseling doesn't make that assumption. Its only goal is clarity — helping each person understand themselves and the relationship well enough to make a decision they can stand behind.
It's brief (typically 1–5 sessions), highly structured, and moves at a different pace than therapy. Each session includes some time with both partners together and time with each partner individually.
At the end, couples choose one of three paths:
Path 1: Stay in the marriage without divorce or couples therapy. Restructure things for a specific period of time and re-evaluate.
Path 2: Separate or divorce.
Path 3: Commit to a time-limited effort in couples therapy with divorce off the table and clear personal agendas for change.
Betsey doesn't push any outcome. She helps both people arrive at their own honest answer.
This might be right for you if...
One partner is seriously considering leaving; the other wants to stay.
You've tried couples therapy and it didn't help — or made things worse.
You're not ready to commit to a full course of therapy but want to do something.
You need space to think clearly before making a decision you can't take back.
How it works
1. Initial consultation A brief phone call with each of you separately to determine if DC is the right fit. Not every couple is a candidate — Betsey will be honest with you about that.
2. Session structure First session is two hours with half of the time all three together, then each 1:1 with Betsey. Subsequent 90 minute session begins together, then Betsey meets with each partner separately. The individual time is where the real discernment work happens.
3. One to five sessions DC is intentionally brief. Most couples complete the process in 3–4 sessions. This is not open-ended.
4. A decision — made by you At the end, each partner arrives at a clearer sense of what they want to do. Betsey facilitates; she doesn't advise or recommend.
What DC is not
It is not marriage counseling or couples therapy.
It is not mediation or legal advice.
It is not designed to save or end the marriage — that's not Betsey's role.
It is not appropriate if there is ongoing domestic violence or active substance abuse.
— Betsey is a Certified Discernment Counselor and DC Advanced Practitioner with additional leadership training. She is listed on the official Discernment Counselors directory at www.discernmentcounselors.com
Not sure if this is right for you?
That's exactly what the consultation is for. A brief phone call — no commitment — to understand your situation and whether DC is a fit.
